


Beyond Sunlight

by WeAllFallDown



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 2012 era, Amputee, Angst, Depression, Disability, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Liam-centric, M/M, Mostly Niam - Freeform, Niall-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2014-08-18
Packaged: 2018-02-13 16:48:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2158008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeAllFallDown/pseuds/WeAllFallDown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall's trying to cope with an injury that will forever alter the course of his life. He wants to laugh, to smile, he wants things to go back to the way they were <em>before</em>, but before is a world away from right now. And right now hurts. </p><p>Liam's trying to be a rock, but inside he's crumbling as well. If only it happened to him. If only.... anyone but Niall. </p><p> </p><p>--------------</p><p>One Direction tries to rebuild life as they once knew it, the parts are broken and nothing fits together as it once had, but it's theirs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beyond Sunlight

# Beyond Sunlight

###  "If only we could have this life for one more day. If only we could turn back time."

  
  
  
  
We were like small children when it came to who got the front seat. One of the many ways that we were more boys than we were men.  
  
Louis was scrappiest about it, while Harry and Niall begged and pleaded their turns. Zayn I think cared, but it wasn’t his style to grovel over what he wanted. He assumed his turns would come around, which they always did eventually, and waited patiently in the mean-time. I usually got my way into the front through bets. Who can hold their note the longest, who can do a headstand longest- that sort of thing.  
  
I should have never challenged Niall to an eating contest.  
  
I was on the verge of being sick; he was piling spaghetti into his mouth like he hadn’t eaten in weeks. I still wonder about how he kept himself so thin, while his food consumption rivalled that of your average bovine.  
  
That’s the risk with bets, you see. Even when things are going great for you, when you’re on top of the world and think you can’t be stopped- there comes something to plow over your hopes.  
  
  
  
Or just... over you.  
  
__________________________________________________________  
  
  
  
I don’t really remember much about what happened. I didn’t fall unconscious, not for long anyways. They say it’s a mental defense mechanism. Block out what hurts, so it can’t hurt you any more.  
  
I would tell you if I remembered, if there was a sound of screeching tires of smashing glass or of metal giving way or off a scream. _I_ blocked it out. No matter how many times he squeezed his eyes shut and begged and whispered and prayed and thought nobody heard, _he_ couldn’t block out what hurt.  
  
There’s a whole lot of things you can throw money at. You can, with enough incentive, make just about anything disappear, or appear before you.  
  
What you can’t fix with money is yourself. Or who you love.  
  
What you can’t fix with money is bone, crushed to powder. Little bits and pieces of your being- no even worse, his being, torn away.  
  
What you can’t make disappear is life. Events that have happened and throw your entire being, around a dark corner, not knowing what lie ahead, unable to return to the path you once thought was called Destiny.  
  
What you can’t make appear is a left leg below the knee, where there is instead nothing but a clean rounded end, wrapped in bandages and heartache.  
  
__________________________________________________________  
  
  
  
When it happened, I wanted nothing more than to freeze time. It was the worst moment in my entire life, but still I would have frozen myself eternally in the devastation of that moment in the waiting room, if only it meant that Niall wouldn’t feel it himself.  
  
It felt cruel, before even Niall knew what had happened, while he lay in an induced sleep- we knew his body more than he did.  
  
I had a few broken ribs, so did Harry. Louis’ back was killing him, Zayn’s neck was being help up gingerly by a foam collar. Nothing but bug bites, _nothing at all_ compared to Niall.  
  
Why not me?  
  
Please why not me? I could be tough, I could power through. I could’ve held back my tears when I woke up. But not for him, not in the devastating waiting room when I found out how badly he was hurt. Knowing how badly he would hurt when he knew. Knowing that he wouldn’t hold back, I couldn’t find it in myself to either. A river of salt came from my eyes, blood rushing through my veins, pumping so desperately from my surely breaking hearth that I can hear nothing else.  
  
I wanted to press pause, hold still and let him sleep forever.  
  
But time moves on. Life refuses to disappear. Ticking forward in an agonizing march towards a future that in that moment seemed as dark and bleak as deep space- a place where no star could illuminate the unknown, no beams would ever touch; beyond sunlight. 


End file.
